I was about six year’s old and I was visiting my aunt’s and uncle’s home. I still have the memory of how quickly my heart raced and how my belly felt. I was scared but excited. My cousin asked me if I would like to sit on his back. She assured me that I will be fine. I hopped right on up there. Being nervous and not thinking what did I do? I squeezed my legs and off the horse went full trot ahead and right off I went right off his side. The horse politely stopped, looked back with a ‘Oh no. You ok?’ look. Knowing what I know now, a highly trained horse (which this one was as my cousin showed him in a circuit) when you squeeze your legs around them, well, that means, ‘go boy!’ Everything is in hindsight right? Yes, this was my very first experience with a horse. Years later I would go on trail rides at the local riding stable and I would sit on top of these majestic beings with the memory of falling, but there was something about them that made me want to be with them. There is something about a horse that always intrigued me. I yearned to be with them. As nervous as I was with them is as much as I wanted to be with them. I felt so safe and full in their presence.
Amazing though how the memories and traumas of our experiences from when we were young stay with us as we grow up. See, I have six amazing horses, but I don’t ride any of them. People look at me like I am crazy and ask, “You have six horses that you don’t ride?” I don’t tell them that I have a deep fear of riding because I fell one time when I was six year’s old. But, you see, this is how traumas work. I knew I was afraid but up until about six month’s ago, I didn’t know why. Becoming aware, being with my healing herd and learning Gestalt taught me to live a full and completely blessed life. Sure, having a wonderful husband and a scrumptious boy could easily be everything I ever wanted; but, I still felt like I just was not complete. Like, really complete. Like, really full.
Seeing a horse for the first time could have never prepared me for where I am today. My healing herd of six members is strong and my heart is just so full when I am with them. They each have their own personalities and make me laugh just by being themselves and their authentic self. They are my ‘medicine’! When I am feeling down, mad, sad, anxious, deep in thought, headache, pains of any sort, I go there with them. It somehow is all better. I feel better, aware, clearer with less or no pain. I can find my “home” again.
Always being in touch with my wild side and trying to always remain authentic to who I really am comes naturally to wild horses. Their beauty, their confidence, their ability to know who they are has always fascinated me.
Horses are such amazing animals. Learning about their ‘spirit connection’ qualities and how to partner with them to help others has made me realize where I belong in continuing with my education to assist others. I graduated from The Touched by a Horse® Equine Gestalt Method program. This program is an intense two-year program that trains the student in how to properly utilize the method to deeply heal others by partnering with horses.
See you in the pasture!